stuck on a 20x12 mile island

Tonight I feel a little claustrophobic...

maybe it's this cold I've had for 2 weeks
maybe I'm feeling my first pains of being homesick
My mom called tonight to tell me my uncle had been taking to the hospital by ambulance & needs a pacemaker.... even though everything is ok, I don't like getting phone calls like that.

but maybe it's Grenada

maybe it's because I'm sitting in our 1 room apartment in the dark because Lee has already gone to bed
maybe it's because we live in a 1 room apartment
maybe it's because the furthest distance I've traveled in past month and half is less than 10 miles
maybe it's because we still haven't bought our plane tickets to leave in May
maybe it's because I'm thinking about being in Canada for the summer
maybe it's because we're coming back in August to stay for a year and half
maybe it's because I'm thinking about the amount of debt we're going to be in
maybe it's because I'm thinking they won't give us enough loan money! (stupid canadian banks)
maybe it's because I'm thinking Lee will always be this busy for the rest of our lives
maybe it's because we've just started this process and still have 4 years to go
maybe it's because after that we have at least 2 more years!
maybe it's because in 2 years we have no clue where we'll be living
maybe it's because we don't have a TV & I can't see the outside world 24/7
maybe it's because we don't have a car & I have to depend on a bus
maybe it's because I miss America
maybe it's because I am missing the Olympics
maybe it's because I feel bad about not caring as much about the winter games as I do the summer
maybe it's because I married a flipping Canadian
maybe it's because I feel like a traitor to my patriotism to marry an outsider
maybe it's because our children are going to be confused
maybe it's because if my children are born in Canada they can never be President of the US
maybe it's because I don't have any houseplants! 


after all of that, a houseplant just popped into my head!
hahahahaha! that's it! forget all that other stuff...
I just need a plant! I need something alive in our apartment to take care of (besides Lee) & that produces oxygen!
I miss my plants! I hope my parents are taking care of them....
I should go outside and dig one up.
I was going to do that with a cactus. I should do it tomorrow.