Postpartum second time around

Today I am 3 weeks postpartum with my sweet second baby Houston. 

I truthfully thought about skipping blogging about my postpartum experience second time around because I don't feel like I have a lot to say... but I know how much I appreciated reading back over my postpartum experiences with Leo and figured - it's my blog I can talk about whatever I want, as boring as it may be... and even if my experience is atypical - it is my experience.

Pretty much by recovery with Houston has been amazing.
I don't know if this is typical of a second baby or if perhaps I was just really, really sore after having Leo, but pain/uncomfortableness level between the two is not even comparable.
After Leo it took days and days before I could even sit and stand without pain and I had muscle soreness all over my body.  Literally the hour after giving birth to Houston I felt almost completely normal.
I had 0 swelling, 0 pain, and very minimal bleeding. I felt good enough to start going on walks right away and even went swimming 6 days pp.  That would not have happened after having Leo.  At just a few days pp I started aiming to walk a mile each day and then around 2 weeks pp I've upped it to try to get at least 2 miles in and also doing other light exercises.  Tomorrow at 3 weeks pp I'm going to start the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred that I had success with after having Leo.
I feel as though my stomach has gotten flatter much quicker the 2nd time, although at the doctor for Houston's 2 week appointment I weighed myself and still weighed 15lbs more than I did before I got pregnant!  I was truthfully pretty surprised, but I guess that's one of the things about being tall is that you can gain weight and spread it out more.  The majority of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit again within about a week, despite these extra 15 or so pounds.  I also think this time I gained my weight more in my lower half... I can tell my hips and thighs are bigger. Maybe Jillian can help with with that. lol.

As I mentioned in Houston's 2 week update - the ease of breastfeeding this time has been a huge part of my great recovery.  We haven't had any issues for which I am thankful for literally every single time he nurses.  I had a terrible first couple of months feeding Leo. Not having to worry about that this time is the biggest relief.

I have not felt emotional or as though my hormones were out of wack at all.  I distinctly remember one time(and only 1 time thankfully) after having Leo where I just felt like crying for absolutely no reason and didn't feel like myself.  It only happened once, but I think it must have been a small glimpse into what some women deal with after giving birth.  With Houston the transition has been so amazingly smooth.  The closest I have come to crying or feeling overwhelmed has been watching him and Leo interact and just thanking God that these two blessings are mine.

People keep asking me how I am doing and how I am adjusting to motherhood with 2 and it's like I feel a weird sense of guilt over how well we are doing.  I'm not going to say it's super easy, it's not.  It's a lot to have two people completely dependent on you, but it's no where near as hard as I expected it to be, or how hard others scared me into thinking it'd be.  I was especially nervous knowing that my family wouldn't be able to visit right after having Houston (long story but dad has broken leg and my mom has a broken arm....) and that Lee would only have a week vacation, but Houston has made life easy on us.

I don't know if it's just my personality.  I've always been a go with the flow, adaptable kind of person. I don't get stressed out by much.  And i'm pretty sure that I must have 2 extremely easy children... so the combo of those things - and my amazing, helpful husband (when he's not at work) - has made this seriously as easy as I make it look on my instagram account. haha. Sometimes you can believe everything you see on the internet.
And really - we're still only 3 weeks into this family of 4 business. I know it's going to get harder. I know we'll have rough days.  We have had a few of those already. One day last week Leo literally pooped his pants 3x. The kid who poops once a day every single day without fail found it in himself one day to poop 4x... 3 of which were in his underwear... but you know what it's just poop.  You can flush it and throw underwear in the washer (or trash, lol) and it all goes away.

I made myself crazy the last few weeks before Houston was born preparing "busy bags" for Leo.  I did every pinterest thing I found... and 3 weeks later I haven't pulled out a single one of them yet. I will and I should... but I still find plenty of time in the day to spend quality time with Leo.  We do all the activities that we did before Houston was born and more now!  We just find ways to include Houston - we read together and Leo reads to Houston.  We play doctor but do a check up on Houston too.  We play with the superheros and explain to Houston who each of the guys are. We take walks together.  We even all 3 took a bath together the other day... haha.  And it wasn't that hard and we all 3 got clean at the same time! 

My motto since I first found out that I was pregnant with Leo has been - if so-and-so can do it so can I.  Almost all of the couple I know have at least 1 kid and they make it work.  And out of those people almost all of them go on to have a 2nd kid and they just figure it out.  We're all just learning as we go.

Houston's Birth Story

Houston Charles Coghill made his grand entrance to the world on Sunday, May 29th at 4:43 in the afternoon at 9 pounds and 21 1/2 inches.

Houston's birth was not what I was expecting and definitely didn't go as I had planned, but if there is one thing you are told about childbirth is that it very rarely does. Houston came to us exactly when he and I were ready. I was able to labor without pain medication or an epidural, which after have a healthy baby and no csection, was my goal and it was actually a somewhat gentle experience.

To tell the full story I have to go back a couple of weeks.

At 35 weeks my fundal height was measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule and my doctor sent me for an ultrasound to estimate how big our baby boy was going to be. I had the ultrasound at 36 weeks and they guessed baby to be about 7lbs 10oz.  On average babies gain half a pound per week so our baby boy was on track to be around 9lbs 10oz, which they consider big and the doctor I saw that day (not my doctor because I was in a different office for the ultrasound) recommended an induction at 39 weeks.
The next week I saw my doctor and we discussed the options and she also recommended the induction at 39 weeks because apparently there is a window between 39 and 40 weeks where an induction is safe for baby and does not increase the likelihood of a c-section, but left the decision up to me.  I just felt very uneasy about the idea of an induction and so we decided to just play it by ear and see how things went and then discuss an induction as I got closer to 40 weeks rather than 39. Also my doctor was going to be out of town for the Memorial Day weekend so also I didn't really want to be induced without her. 
At the time I had already been dilated 1cm and was 50-70% effaced (depending on which provider I saw) so I felt pretty confident that baby boy would be making his entrance before 40 weeks and even if he didn't I personally felt capable of giving birth to a 9lb + baby as I'm not that small of a person and he wasn't my first baby.

Flash forward to about 38weeks and 3-4 days I began having some contractions.  Very mild and irregular.  I went to my doctor at 38 weeks and 5 days and was dilated to 3cm and about 70% effaced. *Note I saw our family doctor for this pregnancy but also saw a group of midwives who would be on call as back up in the event that my doctor was out of town (which she was!).  Well at this particular appointment my doctor was there as well as the midwife of the group who was known for her ability to strip membranes (nice talent to have, huh? haha) and so I decided that I'd like her to go ahead and do the strip and see how things progressed from there... again definitely wanting to avoid the medicated induction.  She said I was very thinned out and that the strip had been successful. She guessed that I'd be having the baby within the next 48 hours. I left the appointment both excited and crazy nervous!

Later that day I began having some cramping and spotting and then more contractions.  I went to bed convinced that we'd be having a baby the next day.  The timing was working out perfectly. Lee had just finished up a very busy 2 week rotation in the Peds ER and had the long weekend off before returning to work on Tuesday. As we fell asleep Thursday night Lee said - what do you want to do tomorrow? And I was like uhhh I'm having a baby tomorrow.
Well I slept straight through the night without and discomfort and woke up Friday morning again feeling a little nauseous and having mild contractions.  We did a few last minute tasks, I walked up and down the stairs, and then sat around and waited... sitting on a giant yoga ball. By Friday night I was so bored so we went to Chickfila for dinner and sat and watched Leo play... all while having more very mild and irregular contractions.

Saturday morning I woke up (with contractions) determined that I'd be having a baby that day.  I asked Lee if he wanted to go on a walk and he asked where, so I said - well where is a place that will guarantee I'll go into labor?  As you may know, Florida is pretty flat. There aren't many strenuous walks available, so Lee suggested we go down by the beach and walk over the bridge (that giant boats pass under). It was also about a billion degrees out.  Seemed like the perfect scenario to walk out a baby. haha.

On the way to the beach I mentioned that I wish I had done a tour of the hospital where we'd be giving birth before hand and so Lee made a quick turn (we only live about 5 minutes from the hospital) and said he'd give me a tour :) perk of being married to doctor I guess!
We went in and saw where OB triage was located, went up stairs to the birthing suites, and then up and saw the regular rooms where they moved mom and baby to.  Then since I was feeling good, we headed over to the beach.
We had a really fun morning.  The walk was in fact a bit strenuous.  We walked over the bridge, through downtown, out on the pier to watch the fishermen and birds, had lunch in the little downtown area, and then walked back over the bridge to head home for Leo's nap.

All throughout the morning I had been having small contractions.  On the way back across the bridge they began to pick up and according to Lee's timing they were coming about every 3-5 minutes.  Lee began to get a little more serious about the situation and when we got back to the car he had me call our friends who'd be watching Leo to let them know to be ready for our call!  We got home completely drenched in sweat and all took quick showers, called the sitters to come get Leo, and headed to the hospital around 1:30pm.

We walked into OB triage smiling and relaxed and announced that I was in labor.  I think if they had been able to the nurses would have laughed or rolled their eyes.  I don't think any of them believed me. haha.  They asked me what my pain level was on a scale of 1-10 and I think I answered a 2. However, when they checked me I was dilated 4cm and still about 70% effaced.  The look on the nurse's face was pretty funny she was like wow I definitely wouldn't have guessed that!  Even though I told her on Thursday before having my membranes stripped I was a 3!

They asked me walk around the hospital for about an hour and come back for another check before they determined whether to admit me or not. Well there was no way I was going back home without having a baby.  We walked and we walked and we climbed stairs and I was having contractions the entire time. An hour later I was dilated to 5 and we decided this baby was coming!
We went upstairs and I was given an IV (saline lock - not hooked up, but there just in case) and they told me I could walk around freely, but to come back every 30 minutes to monitor the baby.
They asked me what my plans were for pain meds and asked if I wanted to go ahead and watch the required video and sign the paperwork so I wouldn't have to later when I was in pain and I said no thanks, I want it to be difficult to get if I cave later.

Healthpark Hospital is set up with a huge atrium in the lobby with a grand piano and plants and a cafe and art work.  It's beautiful. The 3 floors above have an open walkway around the atrium. On the 3rd floor we walked the loop around the atrium over and over and over and over.  Every 30 minutes we'd go back to be checked for about a minute and every 2 hours I'd go back to be hooked up to a monitor for a consistent 15-20 minute period.  Every time I'd lay down in bed my contractions would drop off dramatically. I'd watch the monitor and it'd barely have blips on it.  It was the longest day ever.

Our preacher and his wife came over to say hi and we walked some laps with them.  We sat in the rocking chairs looking out the giant windows... and as long as I was moving I'd have contractions, but as soon as I'd stop, so would they.

At one point Lee checked his phone and it said we had walked 8 miles that day. EIGHT! haha!  No wonder I was getting tired! I don't really remember when but we decided to take a break at some point and stayed in our room for the evening.  Around 9pm the midwife came in and  checked me and I was only dilated 5.5.  I sorta think she gave me the extra half just to make me feel like I'd made progress, but it didn't do much for my morale.  I was starting to get a little worried and Lee and my midwife started talking about breaking my water or giving me pitocin.  Two things I definitely waned to avoid for as long as I could. I was also getting nervous because I knew this particular midwife's shift was over at 7am and the new midwife coming on was one that neither Lee or I had ever met.  Not exactly what you want when you're having a baby.  When we asked a nurse about this midwife she said something like - oh she tells it like it is or she's pretty direct - something like that.  I was seriously dreading it.
We decided that we'd try a breast pump for a little bit.  Nipple stimulation causes your body to produce oxytocin and can cause contractions.  I used a breast pump for about an hour on and off and a big fat nothing.
It was now about 11pm and we decided to just call it quits for the day and go to sleep.
In the middle of the night I woke up twice with contractions.  I was for sure they were the real deal, but nope. Those too fizzled out.

In the morning the midwives had a shift change and I met the new midwife (remember my doctor was out of town for the Memorial Day weekend). All my fears about this midwife were quickly erased and I felt very at ease and confident in her ability to deliver my baby.  She came in and checked me again around 8:30am and I was only dilated to a 6.  Six. ugh. We discussed our options and she said that sometimes it's effective to do a second strip and so that's what we did.  It was very uncomfortable (as was the first time!) but I was ready to try anything to get this baby going.

We began our walking ritual again. Around and around and around.
Houston was moving all over in my belly and each time they tried to monitor him he was in a different spot so they were concerned that he was going to be flipped so they had me get on my hands and knees to encourage him to flip over and stay in place. I swayed and rocked on my hands and knees for about 30 minutes. 
I sat on the ball.
I took a bath in the tub with jets.
And nothing was happening.

About 10:45 the midwife came by again and we discussed our options (again!) and we decided at this point I'd like to have them break my water (I mean I didn't really want that... but seriously wanted this baby to come out!).  When she checked me this time I was dilated to 7cm and my water broke with just the push of her fingers!
I had made it to 7cm with almost 0 pain. How does that happen?! Lee and the nurses kept  saying - wow you must have a high pain tolerance... but really I don't think I was in that much "pain" I just felt uncomfortable.

With Leo my water had broken at home in the middle of the night and it was more like a long slow leak...with Houston when she broke it it was an instant gush and felt absolutely disgusting.  For the rest of the morning every time I'd stand up I'd have an huge rush of fluid... yuck yuck yuck.
Lee was making fun of me because I was more upset about the fluid than I was about contractions or the labor.  But really, it's disgusting.

After my water broke I pumped for another hour.  Did more hands and knees. Sat on the ball.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.

Finally after a little convincing I was ready to accept that I might need pitocin to get things going.
My midwife and the nurses assured me that I only needed a tiny bit. They kept saying - oh you just need a whiff.
At about 2:30 in the afternoon they started me at 2 units or whatever the dosage is... and I swear before it even got into my system I had a couple big contractions back to back. After 30 minutes they upped it to 4 units and then after another 30 minutes they put it up to 6 units and I asked them to not go any higher. Lee told me that women who are induced typically get up to 20 units, just for some perspective. By this time I was definitely having real contractions. I had been laboring in the rocking chair and on the yoga ball but the contractions quickly got very intense and I had to get in bed.  Laying on my back was totally miserable so they brought me something they called a peanut, which was like a rubber ball shaped like a peanut basically, to put between my knees while I laid on my side.

Very soon the contractions were so painful that I couldn't talk anymore and had breathe out with a low hum/groan sound to get through each one. I don't know how long they lasted but they seemed to be never ending.  I had Lee put his hand on my knee and so they weight of his arm could hold my knees together over the peanut.  I think I was focusing all my attention to the weight of his arm because anytime that he moved it was the absolute worst.

After about an hour of crazy contractions I felt the urge to push that they all told me I'd feel. Actually I told Lee - I think I just pushed!! And he hit the call button and the nurse and midwife were in the room within seconds. 

She checked me and said yep you're complete! And she gowned up and they put me in position. 

I was feeling serious anxiety at this point. I had pushed for 2 hours with Leo and I was dreading pushing this baby (who they thought would be considerably bigger than Leo) out. 

However after one push I could tell this baby was going to come out soon! There was a ton of pressure and it definitely hurt, but a much different pain than the contractions so it was almost a welcomed change. 

Later Lee would tell me that there was a second where he was afraid Houston's shoulders were going to get stuck (shoulder dystocia) but they all instructed me to push again quickly and they came through. Then again Houston's chubby belly got stuck! But I was able to push again and he was free. 

Lee was a great coach through the pushing. He's had a lot more OB experience since we had Leo. I don't even know how many babies he's delivered!  He gave me very clear instructions about what to do - taking a deep breath and holding it through the pushing to use the pressure... And not making any noise which I did a couple of times haha and was told to stop. He held my leg and counted down through the pushing for me. I'm so thankful for that guy. 

I pushed through about 3 contractions - probably 6-9 pushes I'd guess, at 4:43pm our Houston was here!!  

They laid him on my chest and I was in disbelief that he was actually finally here! 

This time I think I was more aware of what the midwife was doing after I'd delivered. I felt the umbilical cord against my body (uggh so disgusting) and watched Lee cut it. I definitely felt the delivery of the placenta and this time refused when she offered to let me look at it... I looked with Leo. I'm pretty sure once you've seen one placenta you've seen them all. 

Then got a quick look over from my midwife and she said I had no tearing and everything was fine! I was so anxious about tearing since I'd delivered him so quickly. With Leo my doctor said I didn't tear because the pushing stage took so long and I slowly stretched to accommodate the baby. Apparently this time by body just remembered what to do! 

The nurse brought me a frozen diaper to sit on and it felt amazing! I'd recommend it. 

I got about an hour to snuggle with my brand new babe and nurse him. He knew exactly what to do and latched without a problem - another relief! 

It is seriously such a high to go through this process and then finally have your baby.  You feel like a superhero. And you get this beautiful human being to call all your own. It's so totally worth it, without question. 

After the hour they took Houston to be weighed and measured - 9lbs and 21.5 inches! A full pound and half inch bigger than Leo! 

I then got up and went to the bathroom to get cleaned up a bit and use the bathroom. I was instantly amazed at how easily I could move around. With Leo because I had pushed for so long I was incredibly sore and all of my muscles ached. 

We then got in a wheelchair and they wheeled us to a regular room. Along the way we saw a couple of the nurses from the previous day and they were like yay! Finally!! Haha 

Right away I felt so good. Like I hadn't just given birth. It was weird. I kept waiting for it to hit me, but it never did. I didn't even feel the need to take the Motrin they offered me. With Leo I was very swollen and sore and it took me days before I could easily sit and stand, but with Houston I was in and out of bed, up and out of chairs, walking around no problem.  

Lee said it was because I didn't have to push for as long this time that I bounced back so quickly. Literally. My body stretched and then went right back. I think that the cold ice pack (frozen diaper) really helped too! 

Overall I'm happy with the whole experience, even if things didn't go as I had planned. Even though I had to take the pitocin which I 100% didn't want. It got my baby Houston here quickly and safely - for which I am very greatful. 

The nurses I had at Health Park were great. All of them! They were patient and helpful while I was in labor and very helpful after with Houston! So thankful! 

I was very attached to my OB in Detroit and so I had high expectations out of another dr or midwife and was very disappointed when I found out my dr would be out of town, and then again when things didn't progress and I knew I'd have the midwife I'd never met before I was very nervous... But it worked out exactly as it should have and she was amazing. She reassured me and was confident that she'd be delivering my baby soon and she did!  I'm even considering using her again if I have a 3rd! 

Which is funny... Houston has been the sweetest, most laid back baby that I'm already talking about our 3rd. Lee said I thought newborns were supposed to be good birth control... :) 

I'll blog soon all about Houston meeting his big brother and our first week at home ☺️

Our Hospital Stay

**As I am playing catch up with this blog, I have found several posts I wrote months ago but never posted.  This one was 95% finished, but apparently I got distracted and never came back to it.
So almost 5 months later here's a little about our hospital stay! **

March 5th, 2014

It is mind blowing to me that at 10pm last night it was an entire week since my little Leo was born.

This is part 1 of my experience after delivering an 8lb baby boy, vaginally, without medication.
I can only speak from my personal experience and I'm pretty sure it's quite different from a lot of other women... just based on all the things I read on the internet when I was pregnant.
My labor was long, painful, and difficult... but my recovery has been amazing.  And my baby boy even more so.

Here's a little about our first couple days in the hospital.

The first night
I left off with my birth story right when they took me to our room after delivery.  Lee informed me that I failed to mention that when I came out of the bathroom and sat down in the wheelchair I looked around the room and said it looked like a murder scene.
I forgot to mention the blood.  I guess I had assumed that you all assumed there was a lot of blood.  But just in case.... there was a lot of blood.  And the blood continued the rest of that night.
Once I got into the room, my mom left and Lee passed out for a bit in the chair.
My nurse came and did the extremely painful massage on my belly to encourage my uterus to contract and stop bleeding.  I attempted to remember my breathing exercises from labor but seriously... it just hurt.  I remember saying "can I just do this myself?!" but she assured me it was very important to slow down the bleeding... and I was bleeding a lot.  She came back several times and did it and each time was just as painful as the last.
-sidenote- right away my belly got so much flatter and squishy.  I remember remarking to Lee in the delivery room - "look my belly button looks normal!"  haha as that had been a topic of discussion throughout my pregnancy... will my belly button ever return to it's previous size?

At some point shortly after all the belly rubbing I had to go to the bathroom and instantly when I stood up I felt a huge release of something hot.  I got to the bathroom and discovered the largest blood clot imaginable. Like it filled my entire underwear and looked kinda like the placenta
-another sidenote- I did ask to see the placenta after delivery.  I didn't keep it to eat or anything, but I wanted to know what it looked like.  It was gross, like I expected.
I yelled for Lee and asked him to call the nurse.  How was I to know if this was normal?  She came and agreed that it was quite large... but still probably normal.  But she did keep it (yuck!!) in case they needed to show my doctor.
I got changed again, as it had soaked through my gown, and the nurse changed my bed because it too was blood soaked.

After that she did a few more stomach massages, but my bleeding slowed down drastically and so she said that I could do it myself after that.  She said it was like kneading bread.  I hurt myself a whole lot less.

Throughout this Leo was in his little bassinet between Lee and I and every few hours he woke up squirming and I fed him.  It's amazing how quickly you just adapt and start doing those types of things.  I probably got about 3 hours of sleep that night... I was still running on adrenaline and couldn't stop staring at this perfect little human being that now belonged to me.

The Hospital Stay
Our stay in the hospital seemed so long!  Because he was born at 10 at night and we had to stay at least 24 hours they made us stay an entire day and discharged us the next morning, so in total, including the labor, we were there for like 52 hours, but after delivery we were there about 36.

I was extremely weak that first day after labor.  I had used so much muscle strength during the pushing that my arms and legs were almost useless.  I struggled to hold Leo up to nurse.  Thank goodness I had brought my boppy to the hospital.

That first day was kinda of a blur.  We had a lot of friends from Grenada/Medical School stopped by to visit, as they were doing their rotations in the hospital and a photographer came and did a little photo shoot with Leo, so that was fun.
Otherwise, I was trying to get in some naps and learning how to breastfeed this baby. The hospital has a lactation consultant on duty at all times, so I could call at any time if I need help.
Here's what I'll say about breastfeeding the first couple of days - everyone says it shouldn't hurt.  If it hurts then you're not doing it right.  WRONG. I was reassured by 3 different lactation consultants, the nurses, and the pediatrician that Leo had an amazing "beautiful latch" and guess what?  It hurt!  This little guy has a CLAMP!  I jokingly called him my little snapping turtle the first couple days because he was so good at latching on.
It took me a couple of days to toughen up a little.  The last day I was in the hospital one of the lactation girls came by and Leo was actually gone getting circumcised so we just chatted and I told her I thought it was going great and she said "can I look at your nipples?" and well.... they were a little bruised and she said oh no, that's not good.  So then she watched Leo latch on and she also remarked how good it looked... and we decided that it was just going to take me some time to get used to it.  My OB gave me a prescription for Newman's Nipple Cream and I think it worked great.  More about breastfeeding later though.

So our last morning in the hospital my poor Leo went through a lot.
My OB came back to circumcise him and he did such a good job.  Is that weird to say? haha It has healed so nicely and Lee said that Leo barely even cried during the procedure. (I can't believe I have to move away from this Dr!)
They came and did a blood screen which required another heel prick :/  and he received a Hepatitis B shot.

The first diaper after his circumcision was really sad.  It was bloody and you could tell it was kind of sore.  The nurse taught us how to care for his new little wound with the gauze and Vaseline.  For some reason I had in my mind that I'd put the Vaseline on his penis and then wrap it in gauze, but really you just coat a square piece of gauze in lots of Vaseline and then lay it on top of his penis to keep it from sticking the diaper. We continued to use the Vaseline/gauze combo for about 4 days, until we thought it looked totally healed.

And I forgot to mention his first diapers.  Thankfully Lee took charge of those.  They were so, so, so sticky! They didn't smell at all, but were just so hard to clean up. We used cloth rags rather than the wipes because they just did a better job... and the hospital was doing the laundry.
Also, our hospital didn't provide wipes.  They provided everything else, so just check and make sure!


Me physically 

The worst part for me was the muscle pain, which is a result of 2 hours of pushing.
After the first day the bleeding slowed down considerably and the 2nd morning after delivery I took a long shower and put on real clothes.

The second worst part was the pain in my nether region.  It was really hard to stand up and sit down for several days.  I had to go really slowly.  I can't imagine what it would have felt like if I had stitches....
Things were just swollen and sore.  The hospital gave me some numbing spray and that worked pretty good. They also gave me one of those peri bottles that squirt water to clean myself after using the bathroom but I found that I could never get the temperature right so it was more uncomfortable.  I just blotted with toilet paper...
For the first day peeing was uncomfortable and I had a burning sensation, but that went away pretty quickly.
Throughout my pregnancy I was very religious with my kegel exercises and I attempted to restart them after delivery.  I have yet to be that successful with the kegels, but I'm pretty sure I'll be thankful later that I've kept it up.

One week later and I am feeling a million times better than I expected I would be.  I am still sore, soreness you'd expect a couple days after running a marathon, but every day it is improving.  I still have to stand up a little slower than normal and sitting on a hard chair isn't that fun.
But despite any comfortableness I am still on cloud 9 with my sweet little Leo!
Life is good!

Leo's Birth Story

Leo Robert Coghill entered this world Tuesday, February 25th at 10:09PM!
8lbs, 21inches long and the sweetest, best behaved baby from the instant they laid him on my chest.

I'm trying to write down Leo's birth story before I block out all the details from my memory :)
This is going to be LONG. get ready.

So, a quick recap of the last week... Sunday I miraculously finished my last paper for my master's degree.  I submitted it at 2:30AM and began my nesting.
Monday I didn't have to work because my boss was in California, but I was supposed to work Tuesday-Thursday this week.  Monday I spent the day cleaning.  Deep cleaning the living room - moving furniture, sweeping, dusting, wiping down base boards, organizing, sweeping out the couch cushions, washing windows.  The whole 9 yards.

Sometime that afternoon I noticed I lost my mucus plug.
Gross I know, but a real thing that happens even though Lee told me I probably wouldn't even notice....I totally noticed.  The best way to describe it, like a friend of mine did, is it's like a slug.  (are you gagging? sorry)  so I googled about 50 different things about that and lots of websites assured me that it could still be 2 weeks until I went into labor.
My friend Amber however, knew better.  She said "I bet you go into labor TONIGHT!"

Late Lee came home from work early and we planned to go to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my finishing school and as a last date before the baby arrived.

Dinner was delicious and we walked around the mall for a couple hours looking for baby newsboy hats (but didn't find one) and then I got super, super tired.  I started walking slow and felt a little like I was doing a pregnant girl waddle.

We got home around 9 and went pretty much straight to bed because I was planning on getting up and going to work at 7am on Tuesday.
Flash forward a couple of hours, around 1am,  I rolled over in bed and felt quite wet.  I attempted to ignore it and then more and more wetness came.  I put my hand down on the bed and the sheet was soaked!  Yikes!  I shot up in bed and hit Lee and said "I think my water broke!!!"
He bolted up and was like what?!
I ran to the bathroom.... leaking all the way.
While Lee followed making comments like "are you sure?" "is it possible you could have peed?" "only 10% of women have their water break before contractions start"

YES LEE! THIS IS NOT PEE!
I continued to... leak for several hours but no contractions.
I called my mom to let her know that sometime within the next 24ish hours we'd be having a baby regardless so she could get started towards Michigan.
I attempted to go back to bed since I hadn't had much sleep the night before either... but that proved to be impossible, obviously.  So I got up and finished some cleaning that I hadn't got to.  I swept the kitchen and bathroom floors.  Painted my toe nails red and my fingers with a clear coat.  Repacked my bag.  Lee made the bed in the spare room.
Around 3am I had a few mild contractions.  Not regularly spaced at all, sometimes 12 minutes, sometimes 6.
I ate breakfast and had a big drink since I knew when I got the hospital they wouldn't let me.
At around 6:30 I text my boss and told him I wouldn't be coming in to work and we called our parents to let them know we were heading to the hospital soon.
I got dressed, fixed my hair, and put on make up :)

We decided to go to the hospital, probably a little prematurely since my contractions weren't regular, but I was losing a ton of fluid and a little bit of blood and was slightly freaking out.  You know first time mom and all that.  We decided to go in early so I could see my doctor on his morning rounds before he went to the clinic.

I got checked in and taken to triage to be checked by a PA and nurse before admitting me.  Apparently they get a lot of women coming in thinking their water has broken when it really hasn't.  Thankfully I wasn't one of these women.  A quick check and they were positive it had in fact broken, but I was only 2cm dilated.
I was soooo disappointed at that. I wanted them to be like wow you're already 5!  You have the easiest labor pains ever..... yea... not so much.

I talked with the nurses about my plans to go totally unmedicated, including no pitocin for as long as would still be safe for the baby (when your water breaks they typically want to speed along labor after a certain time period because the risk of infection increases after your water breaks)
and since it was time to switch shifts I heard the nurse Holly talking to another nurse in the hall and she said "she doesn't want any pain intervention so please find her a nurse who is going to be sensitive to that and help her with ideas for how to deal with it"
I will forever be grateful for that sweet woman's request.  Any nurses out there - seriously, just a little intuition/thoughtfulness like that can make such a difference.

Anyway, I was taken to a birthing suite around 8:30ish and began the waiting game.
We took the first while to get settled in.  Lee brought all the stuff from the car, I watched The Today Show, and continued to have contractions that I thought at the time were sorta painful but in retrospect were not even blips on the radar.

My doctor came by and we discussed the options, I told him again that I was not interested in receiving any medication and he said that was perfectly fine, but around 7pm (18 hours after my water broke) he'd like to talk to me again about using pitocin if my labor wasn't progressing.
I got EXTREMELY lucky and it just so happened that Tuesday night was my doctor's on call night.  If I had had Leo on Wednesday night I wouldn't have had my doctor, but I just so happened to land on his night.  Praise ye the Lord. Seriously.  That was a God thing.  I needed that man later.

I did get an IV though for fluids as they banned me from  anything to eat or drink once they admitted me.  I was welcomed to my room with a cup of ice chips and a basket of dum dum suckers to last me the day.

A couple hours with the IV and I noticed that my wedding band was getting really tight, which makes me claustrophobic.  I made it 9 months of pregnancy with my rings fitting just fine and the day of delivery I had to take it off.  My nurse brought me an ice pack and I held it on there until my finger shrunk enough to yank it off my finger.  I was so sad to take it off because it was the first time in our entire marriage I've had my wedding band off... but it's just a ring.  So off it came.  Later shortly after Leo was born Lee put it back on my finger.


My mom made it in from Ohio around noon.

Around 3 the contractions started picking up.  I was having a difficult time getting comfortable and switched from pacing around the room, sitting on the birthing ball, rocking in the rocking chair, and lying in bed.
Soon however I was pretty much only in bed except to go to the bathroom.
The nurse they assigned to me, Kelly, was awesome.  She was very no nonsense, but supportive and positive.

As the contractions got worse I started to get very nauseous and soon at the peak of every contraction I was puking... but I hadn't eaten anything since about 5am but dum dums so I was dry heaving pretty badly. Dealing with uterus splitting pain AND gut renching vomiting is not something I recommend, but the nurse said that my vomiting was actually probably progressing my labor along, moving the baby down ? so whatever works, right?

I asked for someone to please come check me because I was convinced I had progressed far enough but I was extremely disappointed to hear that it was only about 6cm.
That combined with the fact that I was still vomiting and the pain had become VERY intense I hit a breaking point.
I looked Lee in the eye and told him there was no way I could go on and absolutely had to have the epidural. But.... I had told him before if I did ask for it to talk me out of it.  And he did.  He did such a good job explaining to me my options and being supportive... but still gently avoiding letting me actually get the epidural.
I did however get zofran for the nausea.  I really wanted to go 100% medication free... but the vomiting was not something I had anticipated and it was pushing me over the edge.  After they gave me that I stopped throwing up.  Thank goodness.

My mom was great too.  I am so glad that she was there.  She's had 5 kids so she has a little experience in the area.  She would have been supportive either way because she obviously knew what I was going through, but she helped me focus on my breathing and stay calm through the really bad contractions.

Soon I found a zone as Lee called it.
For me I needed to avoid any sensory stimulation at all.
I had to have my eyes closed.  Quiet.  No touching.
Pretty much lying completely still in bed and breathing very deeply and slow through the pain.
Those breathing exercises they taught in my birthing class were crap.
There was no he he ha's or hee hee ho's or whatever.
It was more like deep breaths through my nose and loooooooooong sighs out my mouth.
for hours. and hours. and hours.

Lee and my mom actually thought that I was taking a nap at one point.
Meanwhile I'm in my own head trying to remind myself that there is a baby involved in this torture and of all the reasons why I had convinced myself that I didn't want that epidural.

Anytime I opened my eyes and allowed myself to focus on what was going on in the room I lost it again.

I remember telling Lee and my mom some weird things and not feeling at all like myself.  I felt like I was trapped inside of a body that was being crushed and some crazy lady was saying all sorts of non sense.
I repeatedly said "guys, I am freaking out!"
hahaha and I was. I don't want to completely scare someone who is pregnant, but this was pain like I've never experienced.  It hurt so much more than I expected, but like they say, the human body is amazing and somehow I was able to focus on my breathing and survive.

I then begged for my doctor again.  I now completely understand why women get so attached to their OB. For some reason just seeing that man's face was what I needed to keep going.  I needed to hear that everything was going alright/normal and that yes I would at some point have this baby.

He came back and checked me again and I was at 8cm dilated.
EIGHT. ugh.  I was seriously mad.
I kept asking how much longer?! and obviously there was no way he could know.  I don't even remember what he said now, but he didn't give me a time frame.
I'm pretty sure I told him some story about how this was harder than I ever thought possible and if I didn't have this baby soon I was going to explode and he said "well at 8cm it is not too late to have the epidural if you want it"  and I said "I wanted you to tell me it was too late!!!!"
apparently that was pretty funny and the whole room had a good laugh on my behalf. lol.
but seriously.  I wanted to hear that I had made it passed the point of no return.  I did NOT want the epidural, but I also would have felt more at peace knowing that it wasn't even an option.

At some point in there the nurse from the morning shift, Holly had come back for her evening shift and came to be my nurse.  Thank you Jesus for Holly!
She was actually trained as a midwife and was getting ready to leave for a new job.  She was very into natural labor and was such a blessing to me.  I almost want to cry thinking about it.
Between Lee, my mom, Holly, and my Dr. I couldn't have had 4 better people at my side.

The time from 8cm to 10cm went fairly quickly and by that point I really think that I had mastered my breathing and concentration and could on some level deal with the pain.

Cue in a complete change....

Pushing.
I was not prepared for the pushing.

I can vividly remember the moment that I'm lying there with Lee and Mom on my right, Holly on my left, and my Dr. at the foot of the bed and he announces that on my next contraction I could start pushing.
I freaked out again.
I got overwhelmed with fear.  I expected to feel very, very differently by the time the pushing stage came around.  I expected to somehow feel more..... open?  For things to be looser or something.

I looked around at everyone and was like there is no way.  I cannot do this.  I am exhausted and am mentally weak.
Again I said "I'm freaking out!"
and they assured me that they had in fact seen women freak out and I was not.  But I felt so out of control. My mind and emotions were all over the place and I was just talking.  Saying crazy things about how I could not push this baby out.
I think I let at least 5 contractions go by without pushing.  I was so afraid.  That's the only way I know how to describe it.   I was in so much pain and yet my body felt no differently than it did the day before and now I was expected to literally PUSH a human being out a very small space.

A medical student came in to observe and they asked me if it was ok...
I very frantically said "do I know you?" and he said no
I pointed at Lee and said "do you know him?" and he said no
so I said "whatever!"

Holly got down at the foot of my bed and held my hands and talked me through some different pushing techniques.  I now know that she was doing stuff very much so from a midwife approach.  My Dr. stood to the side and allowed her to take charge for a little bit and just over saw everything.
He was so patient with me.

I ended up pushing for 2 hours.  Looking back it felt like an eternity, I have no clue how it was humanly possible for me at that point to push for so long.  I don't know where that strength or energy came from. After every single push (I think I got like 3-4 pushes in per contraction) I felt 100% drained and on the verge of death basically.

It didn't seem like it took long for them to see the baby's head.  And from what I've seen on TV I was pretty convinced that once they could see his head it wouldn't be much longer until you know... he came out.
Not so much.
His little head was crowning forever.  Everyone kept encouraging me saying things like "he's almost here, just a few more pushes"
but it started to just make me mad.  Don't tell me just a few more if it's really going to be an hour more!  But really there was no way they could know, so I forgive them.
It's such a bizarre feeling.  I could feel him coming out, but then once I'd relax after a push I'd feel him sorta go back up in.  It was so frustrating!
They kept asking "are you sure you don't want to see?  His head is there!  You can see it, you're almost there!"  and I was like NO. I do NOT want to see. I knew it'd freak me out.

I was pushing with every single fiber of my being.
Every single muscle was strained beyond anything they have ever done.  Muscles I didn't even know I had, but would realize existed the next day.

I tried several different positions - holding Holly's hands down by my sides with my feet pressed against a bar,  Holly and my mom holding each of my legs back and pulling with my hands on the handles, and finally what worked was a combination of those with Lee pushing me into a sitting up position.

My Dr the entire time was massaging and applying pressure to make sure that I didn't tear.  I think he even got some kind of surgical lubrication to try to make the babies head a little more slippery.  I don't know what all he actually did, but whatever it was was a miracle.   Two hours of extremely intense pushing and not one tear or stitch to show for it.

Towards the end I completely ignored the whole push on the next contraction bit.  I pushed about 20 times right in a row.  I was like get. this. kid. OUT!

I felt a definite release when Leo's head fully emerged and from how I was positioned, sitting up I saw it all.   I saw what I thought at the time was a huge head and the Dr. moved the umbilical cord and wiggled his shoulders out and I remember saying "am I supposed to still be pushing?!" haha
I thought he was huge!

They laid him on my chest and I was just overcome.  He was so perfect.  I just held him and thanked God that labor was over. I remember feeling bad for Lee because there was no way I was letting him go.  Lee didn't get to hold him for over an hour.
We just studied each other. I inspected his long fingers and big feet to make sure there were 10 fingers and 10 toes.  Traced his tiny ears and kissed his squishy cheeks.
Then the nurse came and helped Leo and I get started with our first nursing experience.  I swear the skin-to-skin contact was amazing.  He just knew exactly what to do.  He latched on instantly!  I was blown away!  He nursed for 40 minutes, 30 on one side and 10 on the other... at less than an hour old!  I had been really nervous about breastfeeding and whether or not I'd be able to do it or how hard it would be and this was just another major relief to me.  I was just so excited.  That hour and half after he was born was just such an amazing time...

While this was going on Lee was cutting the umbilical cord and they saved his cord blood for the community bank at the hospital.
My Dr. made sure everything was fine with me and "delivered" the placenta. That was... painful, but nothing compared to what I had been through and I had my baby so I didn't really even care.

Then once he was done nursing it was time to get him cleaned up a bit and weigh him.  We made our guesses and I ended up being closest!  I guessed 7lbs 12 oz and he was 8lbs even.
While they were doing the vitamin K shot and putting the stuff in his eyes my nurse came and got me and took me to the bathroom and got me cleaned up a bit and to pee.  I don't really remember why, but they wanted me to pee.... maybe because I hadn't for HOURS.  (oh and btw I asked Lee later and I didn't use the bathroom during the pushing. shew.)

I was so surprised that right after giving birth I was able to get up and walk to the bathroom.  I mean I was tired, obviously but fully functional.  I really think that not getting the epidural made my recovery so much quicker.

When I came back into the room, with a clean gown and my face washed, they had brought me a wheelchair and my baby was ready to go to a new clean room with his mommy.
And I have been living on cloud 9 ever since.
Being Leo's mommy is the most amazing feat of my life.

My Dr. said that since I didn't get the pitocin or an epidural my labor was able to progress exactly as my body needed it to and everything happened very naturally... slowly, but naturally.
Pushing took 2 hours, but because it was slow my body was able to stretch slowly and perfectly according to Leo's size.  And let me tell you.... 5 days later  I am SO thankful that I didn't tear or have to have stitches or anything.  I was definitely still sore, but today I'm starting to feel almost totally normal.

I'm going to do another post someday about my "postpartum" experience this first week. So stay tuned for all the gory details.
and lots and lots of posts about the amazing Leo Coghill of course.



and btw.  It has taken me 3 days to finish this post.  typing a little here and there.  I'm not even sure if it makes sense so cut me some slack.

About 12 hours after birth :) 

Coghill Family of Three :)