Monday, October 17, 2011

break my heart for what breaks yours

I have been feeling super emotional lately.
(No, I'm not pregnant)
I think it's a combination of the thought of leaving Grenada is creeping up on me and God has really been putting certain things and people on my heart.

The poverty around me is sometimes a little overwhelming.  I try not to think about it too much because if I allow myself to dwell on it then I won't be able to go outside my house, Limes would be torture for me... but there are days where I am just made painfully aware of the sadness and brokenness of this world.

I found myself crying in IGA the other day when I saw an old woman with holes in her shoes trying to decide which things to purchase, probably because she didn't have enough money.  I didn't know how to act.  I wanted to run over and pay for all of her groceries for her, but would that be embarrassing for her?  Would she let me do that or tell me to go away?  And as I was contemplating I missed my window of opportunity and I stood there in the aisle and cried. 
I wasn't upset for just this woman, but for the man I was going to pass on my way home trying to sell me mangoes, the children in the parking lot begging for change, the drug addict at the gas station, the little girl at Limes who was picking up the other children's discarded cucumber bits because she was so hungry, the thousands of single mothers in Grenada... there is so much hurt and need in this country.

I usually blog about the gorgeous beaches and the fabulous adventures I go on... but in the background of all this beauty is an ugly reality.
I've heard people say that you can't help people who don't want it... but is that really true?
Many of the Grenadians I've encountered don't necessarily strike me as people who want to change, who want to work hard to better themselves, who even see that there is a problem.
But does that mean that they don't deserve help?  What about the people who do want to work  for change?  Those who genuinely need the assistance?  Those who just don't know Christ?

In Bible study last week we were talking about Matthew Chapter 9 where Jesus heals the paralyzed man.  Before saying get up and walk, Jesus says your sins are forgiven.  I think that he is showing us that spiritual healing is the most important.  Fix the heart and the rest will follow. 
If a time of revival and spiritual healing and cleansing were to sweep over the nation of Grenada so many of the problems would be brought into focus and then we could work towards change.

I am reminded of the lyrics in the Hillsong United song Hosanna

 I see the King of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

That is my prayer for this crazy world.


Laura said...

You have such a big heart Kelsey, and you have done amazing things here in Grenada. We will miss you here, and will try and carry on your legacy. You have probably made more of a difference in lives here than you even realize!

-STEPHANIE said...

Now you are going to make me cry. One person can't change the entire Grenadian country, but in two years you have done more for this country (specifically the children) than many have done in their lifetime. I can only hope that I can continue to follow in your footsteps. You have inspired many, myself included, to take advantage of the opportunties to help others who are in need in Grenada. Be proud of what you have done and the kind of person that you are. Perhaps prayer for the people here is the biggest thing we can give them.


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