Breastfeeding update!

Well friends I am happy to say that after 4 months Leo and I have finally figured out this breastfeeding thing.
Actually at about 3.5 months things changed for the better.
I'd love to tell you that it was some groundbreaking discovery I made or the result of my hours of research... but it was all Leo.

You can read my previous post about breastfeeding here.

I honestly and truly believe that he just learned how to eat properly.  He became less of a barracuda, as I so lovingly called him the first 3 months of his life, and started to eat so much more gentle.

Bottom line?
DO NOT GIVE UP!

Just keep reminding yourself how great it is for your baby.  It may hurt, but it is temporary.  Either the pain goes away or your babe turns a year old (or however old you decide) and is weaned.
I can't even tell you how many days I considered giving up and nights I dreamed about just giving him formula.
I was convinced that one day my nipples would in fact fall off.  I tried to envision what I would look like and how the milk would come out with no nipples.  I worried that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed my future children.
It was so excruciatingly painful at times that I would dread the thought of feeding him. again. for the 10th time that day.  I would be paralyzed by the pain.  Leo was SO eager to eat that he would clamp down on me and chug - pulling so hard on my nipples.

They were red, sore, cracked, and sometimes bled.

I tried EVERYTHING.

I went to a lactation consultant twice.
I used a nipple shield for several weeks.
I used a hot compress before each feeding.
Tried different positions.
I exposed my bare chest to sunlight.
I did nipple massage before feeding.
I used a boppy and 15 other pillows that Lee would arrange around me.
I pumped rather than feeding him directly - but as soon as I would feed him the pain and tearing would return.  I went over a week without him actually eating from the breast!
I used prescription cream, lanolin, non-lanolin, coconut oil.
I was diagnosed with a possible yeast infection.  I took medication and swabbed Leo's mouth after each feeding.  I took probiotics. Sterilized everything.  (Lee was never convinced I had yeast)

None of it worked for me, not long long term.
I knew I had no issues with my milk, the supply, the let down, or even how I positioned Leo.
I eventually just learned to deal with it, sort of.  I still winced in pain every time, but accepted that this would just be my life for the next several months and reassured myself of my decision to press on every time I saw that sweet baby's eyes light up and his smile or I'd read some new research about the benefits of breastfeeding (and breastfeeding longer!) for your baby's intelligence and health.

Slowly Leo began stretching out his feedings, going 2.5 to 3 hours in between eating, and sleeping longer stretches at night.  A little after he turned three months I began noticing a change in the way he would eat.  He stopped being so vicious.  He is really the sweetest baby in the entire world, but when he's hungry he gets so angry and frantic - clawing at me, pinching, and biting with his sharp little gums.  He started latching on slower and easier.
One day I was feeding him and it dawned on me that I was doing this pain free.  For the first time practically since the week he was born.
I really believe that he just grew up and realized "hey this milk comes out the same even if I don't kill my mother in the process"

Now we're a well oiled machine Leo and I.  I'm able to feed him any time, any where.
I no longer have to have my whole set up of pillow props, ointment, nipple shield, etc.
I can feed him in a chair, in the car, lying down in bed, walking around the house, in line at the DMV...
And I can do it with a smile on my face and a happy heart knowing that my Leo is happy and healthy and that my nipples are staying put.


So here's what I say to you struggling new mother or scared mom-to-be.
Breastfeeding can be hard.  It can hurt (like REALLY hurt).  It can be frustrating.  It can be a chore, a chore way worse than the dishes ever thought of being.
But if you are really set on breastfeeding your child you can do it!  Any length of time that you breastfeed your child is beneficial.
Do it once!  Give it a try immediately after that precious little baby is born.  Not only are you giving them life changing nutrition and antibodies, but it is amazing to watch a minutes old baby know exactly what to do to get fed.
Try if for a couple days - a week.  The colostrum that your body produces right after giving birth is the most important for your baby. It helps protect them from bacteria and viruses they may encounter out in this dirty new world and it also works as a laxative to help baby get rid of that that nasty tar like poop.

Take it one day at a time.  You CAN do it and your baby will forever thank you.

Breastfeeding troubles

On Leo's 1 month birthday he slept for almost 5 hours straight.  It was a much needed miracle after the past few days we had.
It started Saturday night/Sunday morning.  Leo slept for 4 hours and I laid in bed wide awake for the entire time.  Four hours! It was painful.  I wanted to sleep so bad.  Of course once I was able to fall asleep he decided to get up every 2 hours... and then my breasts became insanely sore.
So sore that I wanted to cry.  I think it was a combination of tiredness on my part and not getting a good latch in the middle of the night and Leo learning that it was fun to twist his head around while eating.  OUCH!
After a month of success this happened.

Sunday morning we still managed to make it to church (early even!) and he was an angel all through service, only grunting loudly a few times :)  He is a celebrity at church... ok actually anywhere we go.  Babies are people magnets!  After service I went into a Sunday School room with couches and fed him and we then went to Target to buy a nipple shield (I hate the word nipple, but we have been using it multiple times per day for the past month. haha. something to get used to I guess!)
Anyway, the nipple shield basically saved both me and Leo's life on Sunday.
It was about $10 at Target and comes in different sizes depending on the size of your nipple.  It's a really thin silicone shield.  I got the contact shield because it has a cutout on one side rather than being a full circle so Leo's nose could touch my skin rather than the silicone.

The downside of the shield though is that it took him FOREVER to eat.  He wanted to nurse for like 45 minutes every 2 hours, so I really was only getting about an hour and 15 minutes in-between.  Sunday and Monday were long stressful days.
In between feedings I was trying to do all the little remedies for cracked/sore nipples that I read on the internet.
Word of advice.  NEVER, ever, ever, in your whole entire life do a "saltwater soak" regardless of what you read on any other blog.
Oh my goodness I have never experienced that type of intense pain.  Even in childbirth.
Do not do it.  I don't know if it would have helped but the instant that I touched that water I had to rinse under clean water to avoid passing out in pain.  For reals.

I also tried pumping for the first time to give myself a break and to make sure that this baby was actually getting food!  He was acting like he was starving and was quite fussy, which was unlike himself.
I don't have an electric pump, just a manual that someone had given me because I hadn't really planned on pumping and/or bottle feeding.  They had never used it btw.
It's the Medela Harmony pump and I definitely recommend it to anyone to have on hand as a backup for situations like this or to pump like every once in a while.  It's really simple to put together, use, and clean.  It's so strange to see the milk coming out for the first time and filling up a bottle feels like a great accomplishment!
Thankfully Leo took the bottle instantly and chugged down the milk without issue.  He was definitely hungry which made me feel even worse about the situation!  It's so sad to see your baby hungry and yet cringing at the thought of feeding him.

I called and made an appointment with the lactation consultant at the hospital but they couldn't get me in until Wednesday (today! yay!) but I talked with her and she gave me some tips over the phone to get me through.  Like using a warm compress before feeding, pumping, and trying some different positions.

Lee decided I should try the football hold, which before I had thought looked awkward and had never attempted it, but it seriously changed the course of events on Tuesday.  Leo latched on perfectly (while still using the shield!) and ate for about 15-20 minutes and looked totally satisfied and full.  Praise the Lord!
I was able to catch a break and stop feeling like a failure of a mother for not being able to properly feed my baby.

So today we had our appointment with the lactation consultant which actually turned out to be an appointment with a pediatrician specializing in breastfeeding, a resident, and the LC who is a nurse.  I am SO glad that I made this appointment. It was very helpful.

First of all, after having a baby you get desensitized to being naked... haha.  I literally sat down in a chair, popped my boobs out and had 3 women inspecting the "damage" that had been done.  And Lee was in the room.  Have you ever been topless in front of 4 people at once?  Weird, but it's like whatever at this point.

The doctor determined that I have a yeast infection on my nipple, which is why it isn't healing.  Awesome.  Anyone remember when I got the fungus on my skin in Grenada?  Just lucky I guess. (sidenote, surprisingly I've never had any other type of yeast infection before... maybe I am lucky?)
So they prescribed me an anitfungal medication and a medication for Leo that I have to swab around his mouth after each feeding.  And I have a cream - Newman's Nipple Cream that I apply topically.  We also have to wash any towels after 1 use, boil the shield and breast pump stuff once a day, and they recommended I cut back on sugar.  Just when I got an addiction to Sprite I was told that sugar, especially in pop, can be related to yeast/fungus growth.  Lee disagreed saying that there wasn't concrete evidence of this unless you're diabetic... but at this point I'm willing to do ANYTHING to make this go away and make my baby happy.  And no more sprite means I'll hopefully lose these last couple of pregnancy pounds and get ready for Hawaii, which is in 6 weeks?!

They helped me find ways to get Leo to latch, that will reduce the damage that's already been done and help my nipples heal.   One of our problems was that Leo is a very mobile baby.  He loves to move and stretch out so he easily gets uncomfortable being in one spot and so they suggested as soon as he starts to move take him off my breast and burp him and possibly switch sides.  They said to switch sides back and forth as many times as necessary.  During the appointment we switched 4 times.

I was glad to hear the doctor and nurse agree with me that Leo is quite the handful because he is so strong! He kicked the nurse a couple of times and tried to wiggle out of her arms.  She said geeze this boy will be crawling by 5 months! haha  So I'm not crazy when I feel like this baby is stronger than me....

Oh!  but the good news we received was that he is definitely getting nourishment and is growing like a weed!  He already weighs 10lbs!!  A gain of 2 lbs in a month, so even though we ran into some issues this week my body is doing it's job.  Thank you Jesus!

So... that was yesterday.
It takes me  forever anymore to do a blog post!  haha I think I talk too much is why.
And we're getting visitors this weekend and next week so I've been sneaking in some cleaning in between photo shoots and feeding sessions with Leo.

Anyway, today is a much better day.  Things are going so much better and I am starting to get some relief.  The medication should kick in really fast and start to get rid of the yeast, which will improve my life significantly.  Last night was a pretty good night Leo slept another 5 hours+ and then decided to stay up for the next 3.... so after staying up with him for an hour I woke Lee up to take his shift and after a couple hours he fed Leo a bottle that I had pumped yesterday and so I was able to sleep for another 5 hours!  I woke up feeling  great and was already up and had breakfast before Leo woke up for his next feeding.  I really liked that schedule.  I think I'll convince Lee that this is something we should do every night while I still have him home work-free!!  And then hopefully by the time Lee goes to work Leo will be on a nice long sleep schedule for his mommy... think so?  One can hope!


So overall my suggestion to anyone with any type of struggle with breastfeeding is to NOT wait and just make an appointment with a lactation consultant as soon as possible.  It isn't worth it to hurt yourself or to prevent your baby from getting the nourishment they need.  Looking back there were some signs that I could have used a few pointers earlier and maybe prevented some of this pain.


And now I need to do Leo's 1 month post before he's 2 months!!  Yikes he's growing up fast!

Baby Friendly

Lee and I recently completed our child birth classes at the hospital!  And while it was probably a major bore for Lee and almost all review for me, the lady who has been reading and googleing everything for the past 9 months... it was still helpful!  So if anyone is having doubts about whether or not they should go, still go!  If you learn a couple random things it will be worth it.  And review is good.

One of the things I left the hospital feeling the most excited about is that our hospital is currently becoming "baby friendly certified"
I had heard about this from Lee's time in the OB as well as from my doctor and the nurses.  But when I actually started researching it and looking into why it is different I got an appreciation for how cool it is!

Basically, some of the principles of being baby friendly are:

1. They REALLY encourage breastfeeding.
There is a ton of information and resources to help mothers be successful in breastfeeding and therefore continue to breastfeed after they go home with their babies.  I mean, I don't think I need to go into detail here about the importance of breastfeeding and how overwhelmingly better it is for a baby than formula, but I know that it can be challenging and sometimes when women struggle with it they give up.  The hospital staff is there to make sure it is an easy, smooth process for both mom and baby.  How you ask?

2. Instant skin to skin contact.
This might be the part that makes me feel the most giddy.  Instantly when that baby is born they go straight to their momma.  The doctor literally catches the baby and lays them right on the mom's chest.  No wasted time cleaning the baby, no weighing, nothing.  All the initial checks can be done right while the mom and baby are spending their first moments together. If there is an issue the baby will have to be checked out... but they try really hard to ensure that they get this precious initial skin to skin time.
Why skin to skin?  So many reasons!  A brief explanation in Kelsey terms is that it helps regulate their body temperature, heart rate, AND blood sugar!  Babies get to be right on their mommy's heart, so they hear that heart beat that they've been hearing their entire lives and it calms them down after that crazy trip into this world.  If mom isn't available to do skin to skin, the dad does it!  They even do immediate skin to skin in the OR after a c-section!
The baby stays with mom for about and hour, or until after the baby has initiated his first feeding!  It's a baby's natural instinct to find the mother's breast after birth, so not taking the baby away increases the chances of a successful latch!

3. No bath for 24 hours 
Babies are born with this protective coating called vernix.  It is the best moisturizer for baby and has been shown to have immune properties that protect baby from infections!  Also, by delaying the bath the baby doesn't have to go through that stress right away and their body temp doesn't drop from the water.  And Mom can be present for baby's first bath, sometime the next day.

4. No nursery.
Do hospitals even still do this?  I'm not sure, but ours does not even have a nursery unless the baby is sick.  They promote 24/7 "rooming in" with mom to encourage the bond between the mom and baby.

5. No pacifiers or other artificial nipples
To make sure that the baby doesn't get nipple confusion it is recommended that they don't use a pacifier for something like at least 2 weeks, so the hospital just doesn't even have them!


Other things I learned about one my hospital tour are the different things they have available to women in labor including birthing balls, bathtubs with jets(!), and squat bars.   Ok so the squat bar was weird to me at first too... especially when we had to watch a video of a woman using it, but it actually makes a lot of sense to allow gravity to help out a bit in the delivery process.  Of course this only works if the mother has not had an epidural.  Pretty much all it is is a big metal bar that goes across the end of the bed that the woman can use to pull herself up into a squatted position rather than lying on her back.  Interesting yes?
The birthing balls are really cool, basically just a big exercise ball that the mom can sit on for comfort to move around and stretch.  You aren't actually sitting on the ball when you give birth.  Again, can't use after an epidural.  Same goes with showers and baths....

I feel crazy for actually putting this in writing. on the internet. but I've decided to not have an epidural, or any pain medication.... so far as it is possible.  I understand things happen and plans change.  But I really, really, really, want to do this sans drugs if at all possible.  I have always thought I would, but once I've actually started thinking/researching it and then at the hospital learning that after you have an epidural you're pretty much stuck in bed with a catheter AND it can slow down labor (as well as a million other reasons if you'd care to google them) I decided that plan A is no epidural.  To me the idea of being unable to move my legs is more frightening than pain.  I can't breathe thinking about it.  We all have our own things...

Ok so please don't tell me I'm crazy or any horror stories... ok? No negativity needed. I'll figure it out... what other choice do I have?! :)
However, if you did deliver naturally without an epidural I am open to advice and suggestions to things that helped you!