break my heart for what breaks yours

I have been feeling super emotional lately.
(No, I'm not pregnant)
I think it's a combination of the thought of leaving Grenada is creeping up on me and God has really been putting certain things and people on my heart.

The poverty around me is sometimes a little overwhelming.  I try not to think about it too much because if I allow myself to dwell on it then I won't be able to go outside my house, Limes would be torture for me... but there are days where I am just made painfully aware of the sadness and brokenness of this world.

I found myself crying in IGA the other day when I saw an old woman with holes in her shoes trying to decide which things to purchase, probably because she didn't have enough money.  I didn't know how to act.  I wanted to run over and pay for all of her groceries for her, but would that be embarrassing for her?  Would she let me do that or tell me to go away?  And as I was contemplating I missed my window of opportunity and I stood there in the aisle and cried. 
I wasn't upset for just this woman, but for the man I was going to pass on my way home trying to sell me mangoes, the children in the parking lot begging for change, the drug addict at the gas station, the little girl at Limes who was picking up the other children's discarded cucumber bits because she was so hungry, the thousands of single mothers in Grenada... there is so much hurt and need in this country.

I usually blog about the gorgeous beaches and the fabulous adventures I go on... but in the background of all this beauty is an ugly reality.
I've heard people say that you can't help people who don't want it... but is that really true?
Many of the Grenadians I've encountered don't necessarily strike me as people who want to change, who want to work hard to better themselves, who even see that there is a problem.
But does that mean that they don't deserve help?  What about the people who do want to work  for change?  Those who genuinely need the assistance?  Those who just don't know Christ?

In Bible study last week we were talking about Matthew Chapter 9 where Jesus heals the paralyzed man.  Before saying get up and walk, Jesus says your sins are forgiven.  I think that he is showing us that spiritual healing is the most important.  Fix the heart and the rest will follow. 
If a time of revival and spiritual healing and cleansing were to sweep over the nation of Grenada so many of the problems would be brought into focus and then we could work towards change.

I am reminded of the lyrics in the Hillsong United song Hosanna

 I see the King of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

That is my prayer for this crazy world.

lessons from an Atheist

This week has been some what of a tumultuous week for me spiritually and emotionally.

Over the summer I heard this from Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller).  It's about 5 minutes long if you have time I encourage you to watch it.  Jillette is a known Atheist and in this video he tells a story of a man who gave him a Bible after one of his shows.  The man knew he wasn't a believer but said he couldn't go away from the show knowing in his heart that Penn didn't know Christ and that he did nothing about it. 
Jillette says :
“I’ve always said that I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize. I don’t respect that at all. If you believe that there’s a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life, and you think that it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward—and atheists who think people shouldn’t proselytize and who say just leave me alone and keep your religion to yourself—how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?
I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you. And this is more important than that.”

The part about it being socially awkward got me.  That is so true of my life.  I do not say things because I don't want to ruin friendships or make people angry.  I do not say things because I don't want to look narrow-minded or holier-than-thou.  I don't want to go around beating people with my Bible, I don't want to be judgmental.... but I also can't sit by and do nothing.
Right now, this very minute, I have family and friends, of all walks of life and faiths, that I truly believe in my heart are going to Hell and I say nothing because of fear of ridicule or loss of friendship.

So here I am.  I am putting myself out there saying that I love you and I would like to share with you what I believe. 

I believe with my whole heart and mind that God is real.  I believe that there is only 1 God {Isaiah 44:6-8}.  I believe that He always was and He will always be {Psalm 90:3, Numbers 23:19}.  I believe that God is three in one, the trinity - God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit {Ephesians 4:4-7}.  I believe that He sent his son Jesus to Earth to die for our sins so that we could know eternal life with him in Heaven {John 1:14, John 3:16, John 14:6, Colossians 1:15-17}.  I believe that on the 3rd day Christ rose from the dead, later ascended into Heaven, and sits at the right hand side of God {Mark 16:19}. It is by our faith alone that we can be called sons and daughters of God.  Salvation is free gift of God{ Titus 3:5, Ephesians 2:8, Galatians 2:21}.  I believe in the cross.  I believe in a personal relationship with God.  I believe in prayer.  I believe in the entire Bible. I believe that you cannot pick and chose the scriptures you want to believe and follow.  I believe in Hell.  I believe that only God can judge, and I believe he will {Matthew 25:41-46}.
I believe these truths to be the foundation and core of Christianity {Matthew 7:21-23}.


I was saved when I prayed a prayer of repentance.  I confessed my sins and asked for forgiveness.  This does not mean that I no longer sin. I probably sin daily, but I serve a loving, forgiving God.  I know that He is greater than anything in this world and I am humbled by his presence.  I know that I by myself would never be worthy to enter Heaven, but through Christ in me I am called a child of God and someday I will be welcomed into the Kingdom.  No greater love has ever been known than Christ's love for us and for that I am thankful.


If you would like to learn more about Christianity click here and if you'd like to know more about the Church of the Nazarene, the church Lee and I attend you can click here.

Give me Jesus

I have been a little more than obsessed with researching other religions. 
It is so fascinating to me to hear what other people believe to be true.
I try to put myself in their shoes & wonder if I was raised in a different religion would I just accept it to be true because that is what my family and friends believe and have taught me?  would I explore the world and seek out my own beliefs?
I hope so.  I mean, I guess that is what I have done myself. 
I was raised Christian, a Nazarene to be exact, but I have studied other religions or the lack there of and have come to my own conclusions about it all.

and you know what the answer is?
Jesus.

the Sunday School answer. Jesus.
Jesus is the only way.
I'm still not sure exactly what I believe about a lot of things... but those are things that don't matter in the overall scheme of my salvation..
I don't have all the answers. 

I do know that Jesus came to this crazy world to teach by example, to live a perfect life, and to die a horrible death on the cross, and his blood was the atonement for my sins.
and he did it out of love.

we get so hung up on things that don't matter.  rules that set us up for failure, rather than foster a relationship with God.  issues that cause fights amongst ourselves, rather than reach the unsaved.  churches that cost millions of dollars, rather than feeding the hungry.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.